Madison

We went to Madison, Wisconsin to have lunch with a rocking family we know there and we really had fun after what started out as a horrendous morning (overnight some piece of shit took property from our car. There is nothing I hate more than a thief) and we had to drive over an hour each way with no music and no NPR. Not a happy car ride.

Anyway, we drove up to have lunch at Monty's Blue Plate Diner (menu here) and even tho we had to wait an hour to eat (we didn't really plan that so well) and were ravenous by the time food was placed in front of us, the food was yummy and we managed to remain calm and civilized.

Monty's is a place I wish was in my own town because they have choices for this frustrated vegetarian - Monty's had more than one or two or three choices! That is a rarity for restaurants. I usually have one choice of a vegetarian dish on a typical menu so this was quite refreshing.

My friends all had breakfast. Their exceptionally cool kid had a Mickey Mouse pancake. How fun is that? My husband had the dill and feta burger and spicy waffle fries. Very good, he said.

I had the best selling vegetarian meatless loaf, which was really more like a veggie casserole thing. It was made from carrot, onions, mushrooms, cheese and the like, served with a big mountain of real 'with the skin on' mashed taters and everything was smothered in ginger-cashew gravy... yum! My husband even had about 4 bites and he's a card carrying carnivore!

I also added a buttermilk biscuit because, come on, biscuits rock and after discovering we'd been burgled the night before, I needed some comfort food.

Afterward, we went to a place called Java Cat that had homemade gelato! Mmmmm. Too many flavor choices tho and I ended up with Malted Milk (which was fantastic) and Chocolate Chili (which I should have taste tested first because it was so f'ing spicy that I had to give it to my husband to eat. Seriously, I can take a little spice and heat but this affected my vocal chords for the rest of the day!) The shit just parked itself in the back of my throat to make me feel like a cat with a prickly hairball. They also had live harp music which was delightful.

Then, we went down to the square, where the hip and happening hang! Madison is a college town and people there just love to get together and soak up some culture and people action.

We visited some cute shops full of interesting goodies. My husband channeled my dad and waited outside every time we went in somewhere. (it's true when they say you marry your father)

We used the parking garage and when I expressed my concern to my friends that I only had 9 dollars in cash to pay for parking, they laughed and said 'this isn't Chicago' - we had to spend 85 cents for the convenience of the garage - that is a deal!

I've been to Madison a few times and I've enjoyed myself every time. I do recommend it and I hope to be able to spend more time up there to check out more local restaurants as being a veg head up there isn't that weird. Ok, I'm still weird in general but my being a vegetarian doesn't cast me out as much up there.

One More Thing....

while we are on the vegetarian topic, I would like to educate you meat eaters on something.

This might help you in the future should you be in the company of a veg head.

There is a distinct difference between being a vegetarian or vegan, having a food allergy and not liking something.

Think about something you don't like to eat -let's use broccoli as an example. Let's say you order a salad and it comes with a few chunks of broccoli on it. Now, if you don't like broccoli, you can simply pick it off and go about your business but if you were allergic to broccoli you may have a problem. Eating a salad that had broccoli in it could cause you a health problem, even if you removed it.

As a vegetarian, I've made the choice to not eat animal flesh or broth or anything made with animal like gelatin. So, if I order a salad and it comes with grilled chicken all over it, picking it off and eating the rest of it is NOT an option, ok? It's disgusting. It's like finding a rat on top of your salad.

It would be like you ordering a pizza with sausage and having it come to your table with cockroaches all over it. Would you simply pick them off and eat it anyway? Probably not!

Well.. that is how a vegetarian feels about animal flesh and that example is the only example that seems to get meat eaters on the same page as me.

We really can't do half and half pizzas because pepperoni migrates and it's greasy so that grease can contaminate our half.

We also don't want our veggie burger cooked next to your beef burger on the grill and we'd prefer that you didn't even use the same tongs or turner to move them both around. We don't want them to share the same plate either.

Cooking meatballs in the pasta sauce and then removing them doesn't make that a vegetarian sauce, sorry! (yes, I've had that happen) and it does matter if the baked potato is coated in animal lard before baking - even if I don't eat the skin. Chicken broth isn't vegetarian and neither is Jello.

Veggie Burger 101

I’ve been a vegetarian for 5 years now and one thing us veggies know is that veggie ‘burgers’ are not created equal.

This post is more for the restaurant owners and wait staff out there. It’s very important you understand that putting ‘veggie burger’ on your menu is as vague as saying ‘animal’ under the entrée section. You need to be as specific as possible or you will have a very disappointed veg head on your hands – and you work for tips. Remember that.

I went to a restaurant that had ‘gardenburger’ on their menu, I inquired and was told by the waitress it was a ‘gardenburger’ and when it arrived it was a boca burger – that is like ordering a grilled cheese and getting a Reuben – totally different. I couldn't eat it. Mom took it home. I was devastated. Truly. In all seriousness. Not happy. I got quite bitchy and a little bratty.

Let me explain the types of veggie burgers in the world:

Boca Burger – this is a brand name but vegetarians use it general terms to mean a specific type of veggie burger. In most cases a traditional ‘Boca’ burger is a soy protein based patty (something like those weird hamburgers you ate in high school) same texture, and for me, not very edible.

They look most like a ‘real’ hamburger. (a really icky looking one, but still) I can eat a Boca patty if I have it on a bun smothered with condiments, veggies and a slice of cheese. It is nothing I’d choose to eat on a regular basis. Now, Boca also makes other varieties that fall into the grain based categories. (Just to confuse you)

Gardenburger – again, a brand name. A traditional Gardenburger is a grain based patty. It is brown rice, veggies and often cheese. As different from a Boca patty as humanly possible – they are both round and that is where the similarities end.

Amy's Kitchen - Amy's makes Textured Vegetable Protein (TVP) and veggie based burgers that are very good. Again, different.

Bean burger – some veggie burgers are bean based burgers, like a black bean patty. These are good to use inside a tortilla or mixed in with a salad. It’s like a refried bean patty. Different.

Morningstar Farms – this is another brand and their patties are a veggie-soy base that is (again) completely different from the other ones. (Are you confused yet? I’ve had 5 years to sort thru this)

Also available:

Faux chicken – textured soy protein molded into something that quite resembles the texture of a chicken sandwich (breaded or not) and I very much enjoy these. Also comes in nuggets and strips

Faux Beef – textured vegetable protein usually found in ‘crumbles’ to resemble hamburger for chili, tacos or sloppy joes or in ‘strips’ to resemble steak strips for stir fry. Gardenburger makes faux ribs, which are fantastic. You can also get hot dogs and corn dogs!

Alternatives – to make it even more complicated there are other things available like Quorn and Seitan.

Here are a few issues I have:

Very often restaurants use the garden burger term to encompass ALL burger types and this is a very bad idea. If you have garden burger on your menu, I’m going to assume it’s a Gardenburger (as in brand) and when a Boca or something of your own creation comes out, I will not be a happy camper. (Although, I will admit that now I ask a lot of questions before ordering but if the wait staff doesn't know the difference then it's a crapshoot)

I’ve been to a couple places that think a bun with condiments and a variety of veggies on it – essentially a traditional burger with no patty - is somehow something a vegetarian is interested in eating. They aren’t. Why can’t these places buy a couple boxes of Gardenburgers and stick them in the freezer? Not that hard! Not that expensive!

I’ve come across a few places that have a house veggie burger (which is great) but they do something to it that makes it more fattening than a traditional animal burger! WHAT do these places do to vegetables to make them have more calories than a slice of cheesecake? WTF? People probably order that thinking they are choosing wisely and they are actually making a worse choice.

In addition to being a vegetarian, I am also on Weight Watchers so a 953 calorie veggie burger with 52 grams of fat really isn’t an option for me (and I’m not kidding about the calories/fat – that is one major chains veggie burger stats!)

One last comment – if you know a vegetarian and are trying hard to feed them at a gathering – PLEASE contact them and ask what they prefer to eat. I’m betting most will volunteer to bring a burger or entrée item along with them but don’t just march up to the health food fake meat case and think you’ll be able to make a good decision. Even I couldn't choose wisely for someone else and I'm a 5 year pro!

Personally, I love and loathe certain things within each brand and I suspect all veg heads are like me. I love Boca brand faux chicken nuggets but Morningstar brand nuggets are gross. I love the Morningstar brand bacon, hate the Boca bacon. I even prefer to cook mine a certain way. My vegetarian uncle doesn't mind things heated up in the microwave, I despise it. I use a toaster oven. Plus, some vegetarians eat cheese, some don't... so you need to know that before you try and buy food for a veg head.

It’s an intricate web and no two veg heads are the same. It's better to ask than watch a veggie force down something disgusting or refuse to eat something even tho you meant well.